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How to get a date Ross T. Crooks

October 11, 2000

You have been eyeing that cutie that is in your math class for two weeks. You know her name, but you would like to get to know her a little bit better. She sits next to you one day, but you don?t know what to say to her. Your lips attempt to move, but no sound comes out. The whole class period is spent contemplating how you will talk to her. Soon the bell rings and another opportunity is gone. This is a common situation for many young men. Here are four simple steps to score a date with that mystery girl.

The first and most important step in getting a date is to find the right girl. Obviously every guy has different taste in women, so it is necessary to find someone who you find attractive. Some young men prefer blondes over brunettes or curvy women as opposed to skinny ones. Whatever your preferences may be, it is essential to find a girl that is appeals to your personal tastes. Although a woman?s physical attributes may not be the most important factor to consider, they are definitely important. Perhaps a more valuable characteristic to seek is your intellectual compatibility with the girl. If you have overheard some of her conversations with her friends, you can observe the way she thinks. You may not be able to relate to her on an intellectual level and this could lead to serious problems on a date. However, if you find her topics of discussion quite intriguing, this may be a perfect match.

The second step of this difficult process is to make the first contact. Before initiating this step, make sure you consider the clich?: ?You only have one chance to make a first impression.? This is very true. Your appearance is very important when talking to her for the first time. She may find you to be a very interesting person, but if you do not present yourself well, you don?t have a chance. Be sure to dress nicely when you come to class and you may even want to use a little bit of that cologne that has been sitting in the closet for months.

It is also important that you place yourself in a situation where it will be easy to create conversation. If she is in your class, sit near her so you will be able to talk to her throughout the period. This will enable you to make natural ?small talk?, to get to know her better. You may initiate verbal contact by asking questions regarding the class activities. A simple inquiry about an assignment is always a classic ice-breaker. Once the first verbal contact is made, the hard work is out of the way. Allow the conversation to slowly evolve by asking some basic questions about her background and interests. If you have not formally introduced yourself already, this may be a good time. Use this first exchange to learn things about her and let her know some important (and impressive) facts about yourself. Be careful not to force the conversation, as she may soon become annoyed with your incessant jabbering. Allow her to share information freely and do not inquire too persistently about her personal information. When class is dismissed, do not leave without saying goodbye. Let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and you look forward to seeing her again. A ?confidence touch? is an optional gesture that can also be used in your parting. This can be done by briefly placing your hand on her shoulder or lower back while saying goodbye. Make sure that this gesture is not intrusive in any way. A simple touch will show her that you are secure with yourself and you are comfortable around her.

The third step to getting that girl of your dreams is to show her that you are interested in her. This can be done in many different ways. Once you are comfortable around her, you may want to ask for her phone number. A phone call will let her know that you are interested in getting together with her outside of the academic setting. You may want to ask when she is going to dinner, and if she would like you to accompany her. This will give you a simple setting to talk with very little pressure involved. Also, if your schedule is open, you may want to walk her to her next class. This will allow extra time for you to finish your stimulating conversation, and it will also show her that you value your time together.

The final step in this complicated process is to ask her out. This may prove to be the most difficult step of all. Approach her casually and ask what her plans are for the weekend. It is important to read a girl?s reaction to this question. If she hesitates and nervously sputters out a few tedious tasks that she has to complete, she might not be interested. Girls will frequently use these simple activities to avoid a date. Hopefully, if you followed the preceding steps correctly, she will say that she doesn?t have any plans. This is your cue to ask her out. Suggest a relaxed setting, such as a musical or a sporting event. You may want to go out with a group of friends to avoid any uncomfortable one-on-one moments. If you opt for the group plan, be sure to ask her to bring a friend along also. This will not only make her more comfortable, but it will also take away the pressure on you to constantly entertain her.

The process of getting a date is difficult and nerve-racking for many young men. These simple steps will help to ease the pressure and create a comfortable environment for you and your special someone. With some careful planning and smooth talking, your date should pass without any problems. Now the only thing for you to worry about is the arduous question, ?Should I call her first, or wait for her to call me??

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