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Neo Essay, Research Paper

english-creative writing

MANGA SCENE: if you aren?t part of it now, you will be soon.

The Lion King was a rip off. You don?t believe me? Go watch Kimba the White Lion. There was even a joke about it on ?the Simpsons?. I?m not going to turn this into a rant against the evil empire we all know as Disney; I am merely informing you of the fact that they have run out of ideas, and have taken to stealing from anime and not giving it any credit. What this column is about is fanboys.

You all know them, you?ve seen them at your local comic or book store, with their ?Kingdom Come? t-shirts on (gravy-stained, of course), talking in nasal voices about whatever. They?re beginning to turn our once loved pastime into something (gasp!) fashionable. Remember when there were NO dealers that carried manga (Save for a few dog-eared copies of Akira)? Remember when anime was so scarce that you had to buy poorly copied bootlegs from some store in Texas? Actually, most of you don?t. That?s okay, because that means that I?ve gotten to you before the media can. (Yes, I consider the media the ultimate fanboy, because they always seem to spread the word just as the fans are beginning to get more respect, thus causing an influx of the Uninformed, and ruining a once fun pastime.)

Some basics: Manga is really cool Japanese (usually translated) comics. I am an enormous (not in size, in rabidness) fan of all things manga. It?s neato.

Fanboys are evil creatures who are usually nocturnal, and live with their parents. You can catch a glimpse of a pack of them at comic cons or on the opening day of some sci-fi or horror movie. They can be distinguished by their poor hygiene, an odor that smells vaguely of burritos and ass, pimply faces, and their knowledge of all things science fiction.

A word of warning: NEVER TALK TO A FANBOY. Never sit by one, never make eye contact with one while standing in line, or sitting in your car. They are desperate for someone to talk to, and will latch on to you like an ill-washed puppy if given the chance. I made the mistake of talking to one once, and I still get calls from him.

Back to the column: Fanboys ruining my fun. I can whine about this- I?m a white middle-class kid living in Johnson County. The fanboys have taken greats like Masamune Shirow and hyped his Ghost in the Shell soooo much that the entire collection is now worth over $200 dollars. Dammit. Lucky for me I bought all of them at cover price. Woo hoo. Love that after-market. That?s not my point. This is: As Japanese Pop-culture and easternism eke their way into our society, this stuff is going to be every where. Just wake up early on a Sunday morning if you don?t believe me: DRAGON BALL?S SYNDICATED!! This is a weird-ass story from over there that our kid?s just shouldn?t be exposed to (Cause it sucks). And as this stuff comes over, more and more fanboys pick up Sailor Moon crap because they think the mark up will buy them a new home-enema kit. It doesn?t, but the company sees that Sailor Moon Boil Lancer is selling well, so they push Bandai to start putting more of that type of stuff out there. Forget the Dominion: Tank Police videos.

These people wandered into the mainstream comic market a few years back, except then we called them Speculators. They bought anything with a foil cover on it. Thus, the companies put out more of that. When the bottom fell out and none of this was worth anything, Marvel and companies like that were left holding the bag. Dammit. I will update this article periodically, so check back to see what I am fuming about soon.


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