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The Three Part Assertion Method Essay, Research Paper

The Three Part Assertion Method

There is a guy two doors down from me, here in the dorm – a nice guy, a

bit odd, overly friendly, and oh-so open. His favorite thing to do is prop his

door open, play on his computer, and crank the music. I generally like all

kinds of music, and I have been known to play it loud from time to time. Well,

this guy truly likes all kinds of music, and plays it as loud as his speakers

can handle it. It’s a good thing he has small speakers. So, here’s me, working

on my computer, trying to concentrate, meanwhile this dude is down there playing

some weird ethnic music, followed by the Star Wars theme song, with a mix of

hippie music tossed in, in no certain order. It’s a classic scenario.

Over and over in my mind I envision myself going down there, screaming

at him, telling him my mind, and slamming his door. That would feel great. I

haven’t done this yet, and probably won’t. While reading the Bolton chapter,

this scenario replayed itself over and over in my mind. Here is my revised

strategy, which might just be used if the guy bothers me again. “When you leave

your door open, I can hear your music in my room which makes if difficult for me

to get school work done. I love music too, and certainly don’t want you to not

enjoy it, but please don’t force others to ‘enjoy’ it with you. I noticed that

when your door is closed, I can no longer hear it in my room and there is no

problem. Thanks! So, what exactly are playing there? I have this great

game..” The first sentence of this quote uses Bolton’s tactic. The feeling

part, hostility and frustration, of it is implied. The last part implies that I

intend to remain friendly and hold no grudges.

To be consistent with the project objectives, I will briefly explain a

real situation in which I could have used the three part assertion method. Five

years ago, at the age of 19, I worked at a local Western Sizzlin in Harrisburg

as a waiter. I was one of the best servers there and made out well in tips.

There were two parts to each customer experience that determined my tip, and

this is basically true for every restaurant: my personal service, and the food.

I had my side down cold. The cooks, not a chance.

One morning, things were busy and the cooks were especially bad. People

were waiting way too long for their food. I went to the pick-up window to see

what was wrong. Raph, the manager, was helping out in the crisis. He told me

something to the effect of, “go away, there is nothing wrong.” I yelled in,

“That’s BULLSHIT, Raph!” He stopped and looked at me, confused, angry, and more

concerned about the situation. He said half a word, turned around, and things

did actually improve for the moment. Raph knew that my main interest was for

the customers. I was well known for being picky and a stickler for the best

service possible. I believe maybe that’s why he stopped his retort and realized

that I wasn’t attacking him. I loved the guy, he knew it. In this case,

perhaps the three point method should have followed later, after things had

calmed down. I did apologize for yelling, but did not explain it. “Raph, I

love working here, but lately the kitchen has not been doing an acceptable job.

T his frustrates me and makes me want to quit. It is not possible for me to

give the quality of service that these paying customers deserve when the food

consistently comes out late, or not good.” I did quit that job because of the

staff, not because I didn’t like the job itself or the customers. I still miss



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